I Don’t Want To Grow Up But I Have To

Amanda Kroll '19, Page Designer

I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to do this, but I have to. I can’t stop the clock, I can’t go back in time but I really wish I could.

College and growing up and ‘adulting’ is very adverse. Maybe because it’s all unknown and I have no idea what the future holds, even though I may not be that scared of the future but possibly leaving everything behind. I’m excited to see what my future holds, all the new people I’ll meet, the memories I’ll make, the new experiences and job opportunities that await me.

“I feel like everything was thrown at me at once,” senior Laura Spac stated. “You’re treated like a child for so much of your life and then next thing you know, you’re in the last years of high school and it’s all about being an adult.”

Leaving high school is adding and starting a new chapter to your life. I was supposed to have a talk with my parents about college, which never happened. The fact that I have to decide my adult education while I am simply still a teenager technically is weird. For me, the choice is to either go to Eastern Michigan or to go to an art college in Chicago that I would love to go to. This has been such a problem for me because of a ton of factors in my way that I have to consider. The expense, my separation anxiety, my dad’s health and if they will need me at home and so much more.

There are also many things that I have to worry about now than I did when I was young, oblivious and enjoying life.

“I didn’t like being treated like a child but I also just want to be free like a child,” Spac added. “It’s nice to have no responsibility but it is also a privilege to grow up and find yourself.”

There are many things that I now have to worry about that I wish I didn’t have to anymore.

There are time and places that I wish I could go back to and relive back to a simpler time when I was a happy and stress-free kid. I was able to walk outside barefoot and get my feet dirty, back to when everything seemed new and exciting and I would get excited over the small things. Back when Disney and Nickelodeon were at their prime, back to when we went up to my family lake houses and everything seemed content and at peace. I would do anything to go back to then so I didn’t have to grow up. But we all are slowly but surely becoming adults who will need help in life. There is no book on how to do life correctly or perfectly so it’s fine that we are going into this not knowing how to do anything correctly. A pop singer and icon from our childhood once stated in her song ”Nobody’s Perfect” that everybody makes mistakes, and everybody has those days.