I often find myself in scenarios where I get really over the top, so to speak. I’m constantly overthinking, overreacting, over-worrying, and over-apologizing. Anything that my brain can take to an extreme, it does it. While doing this can sometimes be helpful for me, it’s infuriating how often it occurs.
My first tendency is over-thinking. I am constantly overthinking every little thing I do or say. An example is this one time at my piano lesson, I had to play the song I was learning with a metronome. I kept thinking that it was going to be too difficult and that I would fail and that I should quit playing the piano altogether. Because I was overthinking it, I kept messing up. And every time I messed up, I would just stop playing and freak out internally. But eventually, I managed to get out of my own head enough to play through it, and I played with the metronome just fine. I found myself overthinking something I could actually do with ease.
Another thing I do a lot is overreact to things. An example of me overreacting is when I play The Sims 4. When I play this game, I get really attached the the characters, known as sims, that I create. Like I legitimately create backstories for them, figure out their entire personality, and even map out their lives. So when one of my Sims dies, I get pretty emotional. But when one of my Sims’ household’s dog died, I began to sob hysterically. I was crying for multiple hours to the point that I was dehydrating myself. I know you’re probably thinking that I’m ridiculous right now, and I think that I was being pretty ridiculous, but in that moment I thought that what I was doing was a perfectly reasonable response to what occurred.
Now over-worrying and over-apologizing go hand in hand for me. They occur the most when I’m in social settings. I tend to worry about saying the wrong thing or making a comment that my friends might find awkward. My over-worrying gets so much in the way that I accidentally say my awkward comment. Once that happens and I realize what I’ve done, I apologize quickly. The other person tells me it’s okay, but my brain doesn’t believe them. So what happens is I end up over-apologizing for something as simple as saying a not-so-funny joke to the point where my apologizing ruins the conversation.